Communication and Relationship Building with Sue Warr

Melanie:

Welcome to the Family Carers podcast, where we help mums, dads, aunts, uncles, daughters, sons, friends, anyone who's caring for a family member or loved one to feel supported in their role and connected to their community. This week, we're joined by Sue Warr, who's from Prama Life. Prama Life's vision is a world where no one is unfairly disadvantaged or excluded because of age or infirmity, and where every person can enjoy life as they age. In this week's episode, we're going to learn about the mission of Oakley Friends, which is one of the projects that Sue works on with Prama Life. What sort of key challenges carers face when looking after a loved one with dementia and how Oakley Friends can help them cope with those difficulties. Oakley Friends 10 week course that it runs and how that can work well for people who are caring for loved ones. And how carers or ex-carers can get involved with Oakley Friends as well as lots of other information about all the other projects that Sue and the team at Prama Life run. So if you're a family carer and you're looking for some support out in the community, this episode's for you. I'm Melanie Cohen. Stay with us.

Hi Sue, how are you today?

Sue:

Hi, I'm very good, thank you.

Melanie:

Good, well welcome. Thank you for taking the time to be with us today.

Sue:

Thank you for having me in.

Melanie:

So for anybody who doesn't know you and has never come across you before, perhaps you could start by just giving a little introduction to you, but also to Prama Life.

Sue:

Okay, I'm in my 60s, which makes me absolutely an older person. I really enjoy working and supporting older people in particular. I've got a long history of working both in the voluntary sector but also within statutory services to really focus on developing communities and supporting particularly early help and preventative type activities within those communities so that people get a really good deal and are able to support themselves better. I've worked with Primer Life for the last six and a half years. Prior to that, I was working with Dorset and I was running something at Dorset called Dorset Partnership for Older People Programme, which many of your listeners, stroke viewers might have heard of or come across. And really the principle behind how Primal Life operates is very, very similar to that. What we want to do is have as many clubs, groups and activities that are available to support both older people and any adult carer to be able to get out and about, to be able to socialise with other people and to be able to identify additional information and support that is going to make their life easier for them.

Melanie:

Wow, that sounds incredible. So I know that we had intended just to really cover, because there's so much that you do, we'll highlight some of those things in a minute. And I know that we were going to mainly focus on Oakley Friends today because that's a specific project that you are involved with to support people who are living with dementia. But perhaps give us an overview. I mean, I know you do so many things that it would take several episodes to cover everything, but maybe just a little, just give a little taste so as people understand the breadth of activities that you do.

Sue:

Okay, I shall give you a whistle-stop tour. We basically operate across Bournemouth, Paul, Christchurch and East Dorset, so not a huge geographical area. Within that area we run 66 clubs, groups and activities that support older people or carers. Wow! Within those 66 groups there's 19 memory lane groups which support people who are living with dementia or memory loss which also of course support the carer because either the carer can drop their loved one at the group happy in the knowledge that we have qualified members of staff running those activities so they're in safe hands and then the carer can go and get some valuable respite time or they can stay at the group with their loved one and we know for an absolute fact that the best support for carers is other carers because they all understand each other. Then alongside those memory lane groups, we've got two sporting memory groups, same kind of thing, but with a focus on sport. Then beyond that, we've got about a dozen carers groups across BCP and East Orset. And the carers groups, of course, are there to specifically support the carer not the cared for person. And they are a combination of speakers, but also the opportunity just for people to be able to chat to other carers over a cup of coffee. Then beyond those groups, we have knit and knatter, art and craft, coffee mornings, lunch clubs, pop-ins. Then beyond that, we also have befriending support and we support over 90 people with befriending telephone calls. We also run a project called Focus Carers Support within the BCP area that has coffee mornings, walking groups etc to support carers and then on top of that in East Dorset we run something called East Dorset Good Neighbours Scheme which does what it says on the can, and we also run Neighbour Car in Wimborne that provides volunteer drivers to take people from A to B.

Melanie:

Wow. Yes. That's a lot. And that's not even starting on Oakley Friends is it?

Sue:

No, no it's not.

Melanie:

So how do you, how do you plan which activities to facilitate in which, because you cover quite a big area across Dorset and you mentioned about the good neighbourhood scheme and the car scheme in Wimborne. Is that because there was a particular need that you identified in Wimborne or was it just an opportunity that came up?

Sue:

Interestingly enough, the majority of the activities that we run and support, and I haven't mentioned the fact that we've got over 250 volunteers as well, obviously, who do the majority of the work within supporting those groups or even running them. in quite a lot of cases. But things like Neighbour Car, interestingly enough, I was involved in the development of quite a few of the Neighbour Car schemes across Dorset, back in my old role at Dorset. That's another story altogether. And we started running the Neighbour Car scheme that is Wimborne area neighbour car because the people who had been running it for the past 12 years voluntarily got to a stage where they actually wanted to start having some time off and enjoying their old age. And because of my involvement previously, obviously, with setting the schemes up and my current role working with PrimaLife, they came to me to say, was there anything that Prima would be able to do to support that? So of course we did. Very similarly with East Dorset Good Neighbour Scheme, we inherited that from volunteers who were running that already. There have been all of the pop-ins that Primer Life is responsible for basically we inherited them from age-concerned Paul. Then coffee mornings, lunch clubs, knit and knatter art and craft exercise groups, things like that, basically have come about because people have either said actually we'd really like to do this or there's been local people who've come together and started something off but then wanted a bit more support or we have actually physically gone out and talked to people about what is it they would like there because we know that we've got the capacity to be able to develop it. and that sounds quite grandiose and powerful but actually at the end of the day it currently costs around £440,000 a year to keep our activities going. We are very stretched in terms of capacity that we have within our staff team because of course The more staff you have, the more money you need to run it. We are, of course, a registered charity. Fundraising is a constant issue with us, so it is a fine balance. So in terms of the how do you find or identify the areas to do activities, It sort of, it just grows. It sounds like they've found you too. They find us. The other thing that I would say is that we've got a very good relationship with at least four of the big care home providers. There are a couple of care home providers across the BCP and East Dorset area. We've got more than two care homes to their name. and we work very closely with them because of course they've got beautiful venues and we've got the ability to be able to support volunteers and identify people who need to be involved in social activities. So, for example, with Colton Care, they're running gardening groups, coffee mornings, social activities, and we're advertising it in partnership so that we can actually encourage outside members of the community to come in to those activities which of course fulfils two opportunities. It gets people in to be able to see the care home and enjoy the care home and possibly then utilise the care home for future respite care etc. But from my point of view, it gives lots of people more opportunity to be engaged in local social activities. And of course, Colton Care aren't the only care home. We've got Barchester Healthcare. We have a very good working relationship with them. Avery Care UK, we're doing something with all of their care homes where our community reach and their beautiful venue comes together to be able to provide other opportunities.

Melanie:

I'm sure that a lot of our listeners will be really interested to hear about the diversity of activities that you facilitate and the fact that there is safe space for people who are living with dementia because that's often a challenge that we hear from people is that there aren't enough suitable activities where they feel that they can take loved ones, where their loved one is understood and can be can take part in activities that are suitable. So really great to hear that you've got so many different things on that they could perhaps, we'll put some links in the show notes so people can find out more about all of these groups that you run. Excellent, thank you for that. So we can now talk a little bit more about Oakley Friends. Yeah, because I came across Oakley Friends when we were at a meeting together last month and it sounds like such a wonderful project. So maybe just Just give an introduction to what Oakley Friends is.

Sue:

Okay, well I would love to claim all the glory for Oakley Friends but that would be totally wrong. Oakley Friends has been in existence for about 29 years, 28, 29 years. Okay, wow. It's actually been run and delivered, if you like, by Prama Life just for the last two years. Prior to us supporting it, it was again managed by numerous volunteers who had themselves been carers and realised that carers need support, need information, quite often have no idea about what they're doing, no experience of having supported somebody who's living with dementia previously, and really don't know what to expect. So when we picked this up a couple of years ago, literally we have changed virtually nothing about how it was delivered because it was done so well by those volunteers. And what Oakley Friends looks like as an activity and feels like is actually at the end of every single month, the last Wednesday morning of every month, there's a coffee morning for carers. people become members of Oakley Fens. There is over 120 people on the books at the moment who are members. We get a regular turnout at the end of the month of 30-35 people who come to the coffee morning. But what really sets this aside is that twice a year, there is a 10-week, and that's not 10 solid weeks, that's 10 consecutive Wednesday mornings, which focus on bringing in different professionals to every single session. That's amazing. To be able to give information out. And we start with a session of dementia awareness, that I deliver and again I'm on a one woman mission to make absolutely everybody in the conurbation aware of dementia. It is a simple one hour session but it gives you a light bulb moment about why is the person behaving like they're behaving and what can you do to support them. So we start with dementia awareness, but then the 10 consecutive weeks also include the lead clinician for dementia from the Alderney Hospital comes in and talks about how does the diagnosis work, what does it look like, what is going to happen. and what are they looking for in your brain and how does dementia affect the brain. Then we have a session that is led by the occupational therapist from the memory support team at the Alderney Hospital. We have a session led by one of the lead dementia nurses from the Alderney Hospital who runs a really interactive session about what would you do if and then lets everybody have the opportunity to speak and then feeds back on that afterwards. Then we have a session that's led by Karen Uphill, who is the carer's leader at Bournemouth and Poole Hospitals, and she talks about the carer's passport. So if your loved one goes into hospital, any carer is entitled to be recognised as a carer. That makes a difference to the hours that you're able to visit, you get free parking, you get a meal while you're at hospital. And nobody knows this. It's not information that's out there. Then we have an amazing session about equipment and aids and adaptations. run by two separate organisations. One from over in Dorchester, we have Alison Walker from the Greenwood Centre comes over and does a session about the equipment that you can look at at the Greenwood Centre. And we also have, as part of that session, Tina Adams from Connected Living, because they also provide things like alert lines and key safes and digital technology to be able to support people to look after people at home. then we also have the continence nurse in that is an absolutely hysterical session which makes everybody laugh which is a good job because continence and incontinence particularly if you're talking to a room full of particularly older carers are all subjects that people don't want to talk about but she actually turns it into a really practical session with a lot of giggles involved in it, but also of course a lot of advice about what aids, adaptations, equipment and resources are available to support you. That's brilliant. So we also cover things like driving and dementia. This week we're covering a digital switch over for landlines and how that impacts upon people who've got care lines. and what to do as a result of that. And then we have a session where we have our care home provider partners come in, but also we have someone else come in and talk about the alternative to going into a care home. So really it is jam-packed full of information. All of that is backed up by a little booklet that is available from the Leonardo Trust, who also put a bit of money into Oakley Friends to support it. But we produce between Oakley Friends and Primal Life a booklet called If Only I'd Known That. which absolutely every carer should have a copy of because the beginning of that booklet is one lady's story of her husband's journey through dementia and the end of the booklet is a directory of all of the organisations across Dorset where you can get information, signposting and support for every single aspect of caring. So legal benefits, money advice, nursing care, transport, you name it, it's got the details in the back of the book.

Melanie:

Wow. I mean, first of all, you've covered so much there. Yeah, it's quite a lot. It's a lot. And I think each of those weekly sessions in that 10-week course we could spend a long time talking about, but I think just to acknowledge that it's real practical support that you're giving people, that you're facilitating, presumably an opportunity for them to ask questions as well with those experts in the room so that they can really unpack the things that are going on for them at that time. Because I think what we hear from carers is it's about accessing the right support when you need it, not necessarily being presented with everything all at once, because that can be really overwhelming as well. So I think just really normalising conversations, particularly around things like continence care, because it is a subject that people shy away from talking about. But it is part of many people's reality that they need to understand how they can access the best support for that. So I think all these conversations you're having within the room and then that you're facilitating for people to have with each other, because as you've rightly said, the best support for carers is other carers. So you've got all of that going on in one space. So it sounds like fantastic opportunity for people.

Sue:

It is amazing and the two sessions that I didn't say mention as well which would be wrong not to, of course we have one legal session where we talk about lasting powers of attorney, wills, estate management etc. But we also have a session on benefits, what benefits are people entitled to under what circumstances and and you are quite right. People don't know what they don't know and they don't need to know it until the point they need to know it. So we gather everything together on that course that we think people are going to need to know for caring for somebody who's living with dementia and then we make ourselves available to absolutely anybody afterwards, during, between and ongoingly. And of course, the opportunity presented by Prama Life is that as soon as somebody has come across the threshold to go to Oakley Friends Dementia Carers, they've then got a whole world of other clubs, groups and activities that actually can support their loved one or more to the point, support them to be able to carry on caring.

Melanie:

Amazing. So how do people get involved? How do people become a member? What's involved with that?

Sue:

Okay, for Oakley Friends Dementia Carers, there is a phone number and an email address for Leonardo Trust, but of course, because they're currently doing the administration for that, although we are the people delivering the entire course, and the details of that you'll be able to make available electronically, I presume, to people? We'll put links in the show notes, yeah, so people can check that out. But of course, anybody is welcome to get in touch with me or Primer Live generally and just ask us anything about anything because there is no such thing as a stupid question. And because I've been about for such a jolly long time, if I don't know the answer, I can guarantee you I'll know somebody who does. So if not within our organisation, I will know other charities, groups, organisations, statutory services that will be able to help a person.

Melanie:

Amazing. And your booklet, which I think is a phenomenal resource. It's incredible. Is it available? You said that you have printed copies. Yes. Where are they made available for people?

Sue:

You can get them in quantity from the Leonardo Trust. You can get them singularly from the Leonardo Trust. You can get them singularly from Primate Life. OK. So people can call up Yes. Yeah. Totally free of charge. It's an A5 booklet and I think it's about 55, 56 pages long, something like that. So it's beautifully handbag stroke envelope sized. Yeah.

Melanie:

Wonderful. OK. And I'm sure there'll be many of our listeners who would really enjoy receiving a copy of that. Yes. It sounds like it's a great resource and something that's quite reassuring for people who and maybe trying to navigate something that they're unfamiliar with. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Well, so we could go on talking all day and I feel like we've literally outlined a contents page for a really long episode of something by just outlining all the things that you cover here. But Yeah sadly we're running out of time so I think we've given the listeners enough of an overview to understand what the depth of service that's out there and the range of activities that are out there and the level of support and I think most importantly the signposting that's available. And that was one of the things that we're really keen to achieve with this podcast is to make sure that we can help people to know where to go to either access the right support or to find out how to access the right support. And it sounds like you're a great resource for that. So thank you for coming and sharing all of those insights with our listeners today.

Sue:

I really enjoyed it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.

Melanie:

Thank you, Sue. So thank you again for listening to the Family Carer podcast today and thank you to Sue for joining us. Pleasure. We'll make sure that we pop links in the show notes to everything that we've talked about today so that you can access that information and we'll also pop links in the show notes for the newsletter. So if you want to sign up for the newsletter so you can learn more about what's going on locally, you can do that. And don't forget to share this episode with anybody who you think needs to hear it. All right, folks. Thanks, that's it for today. Bye-bye.